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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The day I will never forget...

Many have asked me what my aha  moment was.  I remember that day like it was yesterday.  I woke up and had FINALLY had enough.  Enough of being so unhappy and trapped inside this body. The body I knew wasn't meant to be mine.  This body was keeping me from allowing my dreams to come true.  The body that was allowing me to be mentally and physically abused, my the world's BIGGEST DOUCHE BAG!  I mean he was the worst of the worst.  This is the same man that introduced me as his COUSIN to people.  But I still married him. The same man that would sit there and count my fat rolls and laugh.  Oh and let's not forget the time he told me that the reason he didn't take me anywhere, was because I was so fucking fat and ugly.  So this same asshole up and left me one day and never came back. And sadly I begged over and over again, for him to take me back.

So...here is how it all went down.  I woke up, decided that day was going to be the first day of the rest of my life.  I put on sweats and some tennis shoes and went for a walk around my parents neighborhood.  I decided I was no longer going to eat fried food or red meat and I was going to get fit!  NOT skinny, FIT!  I am 5'9 and curvy, I will NEVER be skinny.  Yes, I now have a thin build, but I am healthy and fit. It took me a good 2 years to drop about 80 pounds.  I did this by watching what I put in my mouth and exercising.  My workouts consisted of aerobics, walking and riding a stationary bike.  I ran some here and there, as well.   My meals were always a protein, veggie and a starch.  I was not about to cut out carbs....hello, bagels!  Funny though, now I don't eat them. Well let me rephrase, I don't eat those monster bagels, just the thin ones. :)  I will never forget the day I could finally fit in a pair of GUESS jeans.  Yes, it was the biggest size, but still, I was finally "normal".  Well what I thought was "normal".  These little rewards, I gave myself, kept me going.  I still reward myself.  Mostly with designer jeans.  Sorry but they are the only damn ones that fit my build.  At least that is how I justify the addiction. You have to set goal and must always reward yourself when you reach them.

The rest of my weight came off when I moved to NYC and was a nanny.  Oh good Lord I have some stories to tell about that!  Being a nanny on Park Avenue, you walk everywhere!  I mean come on, the mommy that birthed the kids, and doesn't work, but still has 2 full-time nannies, isn't going to let you take the car!! And God forbid I put them ont he subway!  Oh she was an evil biotch! So once again, walking got me thin.  I have never been in a gym and did not lose my weight from a diet.  I lost it the old fashioned way, through blood sweat and LOTS of tears.  I had many bad days and failed on many occasions.  I still do.  And I still have fat days where I eat and feel bad about it.  But it IS better than it was.  My advice to anyone trying to get fit, is to go balls to wall.  Change your lifestyle and pick an exercise program that you will stick too.  I liked walking and bike riding, so I was able to keep it up. And when you fall off the wagon, so what.  WE ALL DO!  Just get back on.  Don't do it to impress someone or so you can wear that dress or bikini you always wanted to.  Do it because you want to be healthy and live a long time.  Or like why I did, I was tired of living inside a body that wasn't truly mine.  I was an outgoing, fun, loving person that was trapped inside a sad and depressed shell of a human being.  Feels good to like who you are and where you are going....

10 comments:

  1. I have been dying to ask if your ex has ever seen you since the weight loss? I still want to punch him in the face but success is the best kind of revenge!

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    1. Well....he did try and add me on FB. Ummm...is he effing nuts! Oh wait, yes he is. So he has seen my profile pic, but that is it. Unless ofcourse, he saw the Fitness article. :-)

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  2. I am so glad that you started blogging. You are awesome!

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    1. Awww...thank you Becky!!! So sweet!! I plan to share lots of stuff! ;-)

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  3. Hi Lori,

    I recently started following you on Instagram and just noticed your blog. Your words really hit home. While not as drastic, I gained 25 pounds in college. When my fiance left me, someone told me it was because I "got fat" - and I believed it wholeheartedly. Recently I've been winning the war against my body by eating well and staying active. It is nice to know someone has felt the pain and humiliation that those comments can create. Thank you, and happy blogging! xoxo

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  4. Yay!! I'm so happy you started blogging! I always look at your photos and wondered if you ever would!! I'm glad I have a way to follow your story! You're and inspiration to so many, me included!

    www.loveandcrayons.com

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  5. UH-MAZ-ING!!! I as well have a total douchbag story that has given me such UMPH to get it done!! We are women... Hear us ROAR!!! :)

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  6. You are so motivating, thanks for giving so many of us something to believe in and look forward to!

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  7. Girl...You are so completely awesome. I seriously wanted to kick that asshole of hubbies ass for you. SO sorry you had to go through all of that. You are a beautiful person not only on the outside but also in the inside!

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  8. "Or like why I did, I was tired of living inside a body that wasn't truly mine. I was an outgoing, fun, loving person that was trapped inside a sad and depressed shell of a human being. Feels good to like who you are and where you are going...."
    I keep telling people I'm doing this because I want the outside to match the inside.

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