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Friday, March 29, 2013










Well ladies, I am about to go on VACA!!!!!!!  Woo-hoo!!!!  I am so ready for this damn vacation, I can taste it!! So I thought I would do a post on how I stay on track, on vacation! It won't be easy, I know this for a fact!  I mean all the warm ocean air does is make me want to sip on pina coladas and listen to Jimmy Buffet while munching on a grouper sandwich and fries!!  I mean isn't that everyone does???

BUT...Instead of diving headfirst into the above items, well minus Buffet, I am not diving into that! :)
I will be a good girl, with moderate bad girl ways.  So for instance, I am going to always eat a healthy breakfast, no matter what!  We are staying at my mom's so this will be easy.  When we go to Disney,  I will  bring breakfast bars.  Easy peasy!   For lunches, I will try and let this be my "fat girl" meal, if need be.  And by that, I mean if I am feeling fried, I am getting fried.  BUT...I will make my sides, healthy options.  I will also try and fill up on salad first and a huge glass of water.  As far as alcoholic beverages go, I like beer in warm weather.  My new FAVORITE beer is Beck's Premier. It has 64 calories but doesn't taste like watered down piss!  And no I have never tried watered down piss.  Or just plain piss for that matter!
I recommend you all give it a try.  Even my beer snob hubby likes it!  I pair mine with beer salt and a lime.  If that is not available there is my go to drink, I bet you can guess what it is!  If you follow me on IG, you have seen this a lot. :)
DING DING DING!!!  Wine is right!! I will be on vacation with my little sis and my dad.  Both enjoy a lovely glass of wine or 2 or 3 or 4...when I come to town! And let's not forget, my kids will be with me and we are going to Disney. That alone could drive me to drink!!  Oh and the forecast for that day, 88 freaking degrees!! Holla!!! I will be sweating my balls off and my husbands too! But I can't wait! 



For dinner's I plan to make my appetizer, the "bad" food and my dinner healthy.  So for instance, I LOVE buffalo shrimp!!  I can order this, share it with the masses and still stay on track! OMG I love buffalo shrimp.  I even lick my fingers clean!!  Oh what a sight that will be.  Maybe I will post a pic of that!
For my entrees I will get my seafood broiled, blackened or grilled.  OR...I will get crab legs.  AND NO, I do not drown them in butter.  I actually do not like butter.  Even on my corn on the cob and popcorn.  I gave it up years ago, when I was starting out on my journey.  I have yet to miss it! For my sides I will get a plain baked potato and veggies.  Or whole grain rice if they offer it.  When it comes to sandwiches, I will get turkey burgers or grilled sandwiches and only eat half the fries, if that is the side offered. And once again, drink plenty of water first and get a salad!

The reason I do this, so I don't come home hating myself and regretting bad choices.  I have done that too many times.  It sucks and I don't want to go there, this time.  When we went to Disney in late September, I was good most of the time and bad a little.  I came home and had lost weight!  So that is what I am shooting for this time as well.  Well I don't care if I lose, really.  I just don't want to come home feeling like a bloated pig!  Or looking like this:
I plan to walk a lot at Disney and I am bringing my 30-day shred and ripped in 30 dvd's.  I may or may not take them out of the suitcase, but I am going into it with the best intentions!

Oh I forgot about snacks!  This is where it might get tricky!  My mom ALWAYS has twizzlers and starburst laying around.  Yeah, I know!!!  Those are the snacks that you just can't have one of.  So I am going to make sure I eat fruit or protein of some form, before I dive into a bag of candy.  AND...when I do have the craving, I will chug a big glass of water, it will make me "feel" full.  I am a huge ice cream freak, so this is where I will allow myself to stray from the norm.  Sorry, I just can't say no, just not in me!  Somehow my DNA has it where that whole ice cream blocker gene is non-functioning.  Cest la vie!  :)




I will report back on how all of these plans, pan out.  Wish me luck!! 
 






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Thursday, March 28, 2013

Something a little light!

OK my past few posts have been kind of deep, SO....I am go to lighten things up a bit!  I am going to show you a side of Lori that is quite dorky!  I think this also touches on the whole, "don't judge a book by it's cover".  I have been told before, that I am not approachable.  I have also been told by people that their first impression of me, was that I was a bitch.  And this is before they ever spoke a word to me.  I get it, I guess.  I know I have done it too.  It bothers me that people have thought that.  Sometimes I think I frown, when I don't mean to.  My mother is ALWAYS saying, "Lori Ann quit frowning".  My response, "I AM NOT FROWNING"!!  Well if you take a look at my forehead, you know I do, I got me some frown lines!!  Nothing that a little botox can't fix.  AND YES, I AM GETTING BOTOX!! Even if I have to sell my left kidney, to pay for it! :o)

OK on to the lighter side of Lori...

I am a disgusting pig when it comes to belching.  I MEAN A P-I-G, Pig! I could clear a room.  We are talking earth shattering sounds.  Am I proud of this, why yes, yes I am!  Does it drive my husband crazy??? Yep, but it is also one of the things he loves about me.  You know that I am not some big priss!


I have peed my pants on the streets of NYC.  Well actually it was a dress.  My sis and I were there for my Fitness article and it was Valentine's Day.  We went to this amazing little restaurant in SOHO and I had to pee...bad.  BUT...I didn't want to go there, because the whole public bathroom thing kind of weirds me out.  So as we are walking back to our hotel, in the rain, my sis lets a fart slip.  OMG I thought I was going to die!  I stopped dead in my tracks and started to laugh and squeal in this high pitched voice.  I couldn't control it and I said, "OMG I am going to piss myself".  And what do you know, I DID!  I had a dress on people!!  AND NO TIGHTS!  Thank God it was raining and I was able to control the flow!  I still laugh when I think about it.  My sis almost shits herself and I piss myself.  We are true partners in crime!



I think farts are HYSTERICAL.  I mean no matter when or where, if I hear one, I laugh.  I even laughed at a funeral!!  As we are sitting in the funeral home, listening to my step-grandpa's eulogy, someone lets one rip.  Not a silent but deadly, but a big ole lift your butt cheek kind of fart.  Oh Lord, I lost it.  I was laughing so hard I was crying.  Which I guess helped, since it was a funeral after all.  Of course my sister heard it and saw I was laughing.  At this point, we were laughing at us, laughing.  We do this a lot, when we are together.  :-)



I have been known to flash my tata's at GNO.  Yes, you read that right.  I figure, once you have babies, the whole world has seen your lady parts, so why not.  That and I have titties that no one would want anyway, so it's not like I am showing some amazing asset!  I should specify though, I ONLY show them to my girl's!  I sure as hell don't show them to guys...ICK!



One time I got it on in the parking lot of a bar AND....moved my friends car to do this.  BUT...when I left with said guy I got it on with, I failed to tell my friend, I moved her car.  OMG did I get an ass chewing!!  It took her a while to cool off!  I can't blame her, she was drunk and roaming some huge parking lot for her car.  THANK GOD, she didn't report it stolen!

I like to break out in song and dance for no reason at all.  I will just start shaking my tail feathers like I am some contestant on DWTS! And this I am not.  I can only dance when I am drunk.  Well I THINK I can dance, when I am drunk.  I call it my liquid courage.  I have seen video of it, and I was wrong, I can't dance.  BUT...I don't care, it makes me happy.

I am a HUGE klutz.  Like we are talking, I should have been named Grace.  I fall ALL the time AND I spill stuff, all the time.  Unfortunately I have passed this on to my daughter.  Poor girl. :(  It drives my husband CRAZY!  If it's not me falling down the stairs, it is Liv.  In one day, I fell down the stairs on the main level, I fell down the basement stairs AND I sliced my hand open, trying to open a can of corn.  This slice required stitches.  AND...one year and one week, to the day of that, I sliced the same damn hand open!  This time, it was my finger though.  And both times, I was about to go on vacation.  Yep, I am one big accident waiting to happen.

I went to Vegas for my gf's wedding and I got roofied.  Yep, I sure did.  It was awful!!  We were all at the Minus 5 Ice Lounge at Mandalay Bay.  We were all standing around after leaving the ice box and slamming our drinks. HOLY SHIT they were strong.  So my friend Traci (the one who's car I moved) starts a conversation with these guys.  They seemed nice and harmless.  They were funny and OK to talk to.  Here is what I should have tuned into, when I asked one of them what they did for a living, they said they were in "chemical sales".  Hmmm...was this a hint that I should run and run far.  We are not quite sure when they slipped us the Rohypnol...because we were never left alone with them.  BUT...lots of drinks were bought and passed.  That whole night is a blurr.  I do know we made it back to the hotel and I passed out and hit my head, hard.  Shocking, Lori fell!  When we woke up the next day, it was awful!!! OMG we wanted to die!! The worst headache ever!  And we couldn't remember anything that had happened.  The effects last for days.  You are SO tired and just feel like you have the flu.  That night our friends got married (it was St. Patty's Day) and we couldn't even look at a drink.  This sucks because it was St. Patty's Day AND open bar!  What a waste..lol And when I told my mother this, I got my ass chewed once again!  AND...a major lecture.  What people don't realize is that it can happen to anyone!  Like I said, we were never alone.


One time when I was walking to work in NYC I fell and ripped my pants.  OK this was rush hour time and it was outside Grand Central Station.  So yes, the whole world saw it!  I tried to act all Joe Cool but I don't think the peeps were buying it.  I had to huge holes in my pants, at my knees.  Oh and blood dripping from them.  I just got up and kept on walking.  See I need to change my name to Grace!



I have this very weird ability to call sheep.  Like really call them and communicate with them.  Before my parents moved to Florida, they lived behind a farm.  A farm that had sheep.  I would sit in my room upstairs, with the window open and call them.  Oh and they talked back to me too!  This my friends, is and was, a site to see!



OK that is enough for now, I suppose.  I just want you all to see that I am just a normal dorky girl.  One that refuses to take herself serious.  Oh and I also refuse to ever grow up! I plan to be the life of the party at the old folks home someday!  I will have my decked out scooter and iv hook up, of wine.

Hope you are all having a FABULOUS DAY!!


Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Dear Little Lori...

I have thought about this a lot, what would I say to "me", if I could go back in time.  So here it goes...



Dear Little Chubby Lori,

I want you to know that no matter how hard things get in your life, don't ever doubt your worth.  The world can be a very cruel place at times, especially for an overweight child.  People are going to say some pretty mean things that will hurt you, more than you ever thought possible.  When you walk in to kindergarten class for the first time and kiss your mommy good-bye, this will unfortunately start the end of your innocence.  You will start to see that no matter how hard you try, people will still be mean.  You will walk in that class with your pretty little head held high, but as the days go by, your sweet little face will start to droop.  When things get hard, just remember that you have the most amazing parents that love you more than life itself.  And when you ask them why people make fun of you, they will hug you and tell you, "because they are jealous".  They will always try and keep things positive.  They will tell you how pretty you are and how sweet and smart, you are.  They are the two people in the whole world, that love you and think you are perfect, NO MATTER WHAT.  You will be a mama's girl and a daddy's girl.  You will ALWAYS feel safe at home.  It will be a place for you to really be "you".  You will feel free here.  You will act silly and have the time of your life.  This is your safe place.  Your mom will go on all kinds of diets with you, even though she doesn't need to lose weight.  She will cheer you on and offer you some fun rewards, if you hit your goals.  Your daddy will even put on some sweats and do Jane Fonda workouts with you.  At home, you won't feel like some disgusting pig.  You know the pig that people in the real world, make you feel like you are.  Your sisters and you might fight and call each other names, but know this....they love you more than anything in this world.  They will NEVER let anyone hurt you.  You may not realize it, but they love you no matter what your size is.  They love you because you are funny and sweet and goofy.  They will be your true best friends.  The kind of friends that will NEVER EVER hurt you.  Sometimes you won't even know this, but they are your biggest cheerleaders.  Just because they are naturally thin and beautiful, doesn't mean they can't relate to your struggles.  No one is perfect, they too have things they struggle with.  When you all grow up and become mommy's you will learn to appreciate each other even more.  You will have fun girl's weekends together and see just what real friendship is. 



When you are in school and the kids make fun of you, just remember, they too have things they struggle with.  If they didn't, they wouldn't bother trying to put all the negative attention on you.  And when you meet that boy that you think likes you....he does, he just can't let his buddies see it.  I know this will break your heart, but you WILL get over it.  You will stand at the kitchen sink with the best guy in the whole world, your daddy.  He will tell you, "honey, guys are assholes".  This will stick with you.  If the most perfect and loving man says this, it must be true.  He will hug you and tell you that it will all be OK.  And guess what, it will.  It just takes you years to figure this out.  And when you get married to that horrible man that hurts you physically and mentally, your daddy will about lose it.  He will have to be asked to not go to divorce court with you, in fear of what he might do.  He will tell you and your sisters, "No one hurts my girls".  This too, will stick with you.  And when you go to court that day, your mom will be by your side and you will hold your head up high.  THIS...is a good day, it's the first day of the rest of your life. From that point on, you will start to change.  And we are talking BIG changes.  You will start to get your weight in control and start living your life.  You will reconnect with some amazing friends and start having the time of your life.  You will still get made fun of, at times.  BUT....you are learning to handle it better.  You are seeing that it's not you that has a problem, it's them.  They are even more miserable that you thought you were.



The one thing you will take away from ALL that you have been through, is this.  DON'T EVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER....EVER.  You will see a super skinny girl and learn that her life is NOT perfect.  She just might be one of the most unhappy people you will ever meet.  She could have an eating disorder and an awful home life where she is made to feel ugly.  You will also meet "big" girls that are 100% happy and healthy.  You will see that just because someone has some extra weight on them, does not mean they aren't happy.  Too many people think that overweight people are miserable.  THEY ARE NOT!  When someone approaches you and is automatically judging you, remember, they are just judging your "book" by its "cover".  Just smile and kill them with kindness.  They will realize, you really are a great person.


You will get to a place where you are 100% content.  You will be a mommy, a wife a friend, sister, aunt and daughter.  And you will be good at it.  It might takes some years to perfect, but you will be GREAT! And one thing you never saw coming, you will share your story with others and you will meet some AMAZING women.  Women that you will connect with on such a wonderful level. Women that will inspire you!  And...you will inspire them.  You will touch their lives.  You will show them that no matter how hard life gets, you can get through it.
In closing, I just want you to know that every single thing that happens to you in life, happens for a reason.  There is a plan for you so don't EVER regret a thing.  Life is short, so please live, love and laugh...especially laugh at yourself.  And remember, it's OK to fail, just get back up on that horse as many times as you need to.  One day, you will stop falling....

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Sometimes...it's the little things

So....one thing about me that might be considered odd, I like to pack for my vacations WAY EARLY!  I mean like I start planning in my head, 2 weeks out.  And I will confess, I also start trying on outfit options, 2 weeks out.  Yesterday I didn't take a lunch so I was home an hour early and decided to get out the ole summer clothes.  In past years, this was NOT enjoyable.  I would try things on and just not feel comfortable in them.  OR...I would sit there and pray they would be loose and they weren't. :( WOMP WOMP.  So as I started to try things on, I said a quick prayer and dug in.  I was shocked, things were loose or too big.  Yes, this is AWESOME!  But then I was like, "damn, I need new clothes".  Oopsie!  Good thing my mom lives near an amazing outlet mall in Florida that has J Crew! I wonder if I have time to get a part time job to pay for these clothes???  Let's see, I leave on Saturday....what can make me some quick cash.  Hmmm...the only thing that comes to mind involves a pole or a shady motel.  Yeah, I think I will just stick to my bargain shopping and wear some loose clothes! :-)

What I cannot get over about this is how it truly motivates me.  It makes me want to go workout.  And like I have said in past blogs, this used to give me the"OK" to go eat.  I didn't "get it".  Now I do.  I promise you, this is why I take progress pics.  In no way am I trying to show off or "flaunt" my body.  I want to share with all of those women in the same situation I was in.  I want them to see that they too, can get the results they want.  No matter how much you have to lose or how old you are.  I am 41, so the odds truly are stacked against me.  My metabolism is not like that of a 21 year old.  Hell, it never was!  I am the type that can look at food and gain weight.  It used to drive me crazy!!  I could NEVER eat without gaining.  And having 2 beautiful and skinny sisters that could, sucked!  But that is just how I was made.  I had to work at it, and still do.  At least now, I know what it takes to stay in shape.  I know the exact amount of calories I need to lose and to maintain.  I also know just how much I need to workout, to get results or just keep myself at a "happy place".



One thing I want people to see from my posts/pics is that you CAN get results at home.  You CAN just workout 20 minutes here and 20 minutes there, and get amazing results.  You can eat "normal" food and still lose.  I do NOT follow a specific diet, take a supplement or drink a shake.  When I did follow diets and drink shakes (slim fast) I never saw these kind of results.  I also want people to see that you can also get results with low weights.  I only use 3-5 pound weights.  Now this may not work for others, but it does for me.  It is how I got lean and firm.  Also know that just because the # on the scale isn't showing a major change, you can still have results.  I honestly do not know the weight difference in the above pic.  I am thinking maybe 5-7 pounds.  But who knows, it could be less!  All I care about is the change.  NOT the #.  Remember to me, the scale is the devil.  A devil that I would obsess about and one that would cause me to take major steps backwards, in my journey.  I just want people to know their options.  I see so many people struggling and using all kinds of diet shit, that, in the end, will not work.  You might drop the pounds fast, when using shakes to lose weight, but if you do not change your eating habits, that weight will find it's way back, once you start to eat "real food" again.  You know, I love to eat too much, to drink my meals.  JUST CAN'T DO IT.  I like to sit down to a meal and actually chew it.  I would much rather get 250 calories from some protein and veggies than from a shake.  But once again, that is just me.  I guess I feel like I can say this, because I have tried it ALL!  And the only thing that ever worked for long term, is eating everything in moderation.  I mean just last night, I had a hot fudge sundae from Mc Donalds.  Yep, that is right, I sure did!  And let me tell you, I scarfed it down!  BUT....my dinner was an open faced turkey burger with roasted veggies and brown rice.  That was only 310 calories! And it was so filling.  Oh and I had some wine with dinner. :-)  So I rewarded myself with a yummy!  No fat free crap for me.  I ate the real deal!  And I am pretty sure at one point, I licked the container.  :)




Wow this post has been a big ole rambling of crap!  Sorry!  Before I go, I will admit to one thing I ALWAYS dreamt about when I was losing weight.  I wanted to be able to look cute in pj bottoms and a bikini top, like the skinny bitches of VS.  Yes, I know, I should be dreaming of world peace and ending hunger.  Well, when you grow up fat and miserable, sometimes you dream about stupid crap!  So last night as I was trying stuff on, I did my own little VS shoot.  Oh yes, I went there!  I will share the pic with you.  It was kinda like a big NSV for me!! :-)  OH....and I bought this cute little jumpsuit thingy last year and HATED how I looked in it  But for some reason, I didn't return it or get rid of it.  As I was going through my summers stuff, I found it and gave it a try.  And....I liked it!  I think I will pair it with some cute wedges and fun jewelry, when I am on vaca!


I  hope you are all having a great week!  If you follow me on IG and commented on my progress pics, THANK YOU!!  You all are so sweet and keep me inspired.  I mean that!  I am not a person that blows smoke up people's behinds!  If I say it, I mean it.  I love you all and consider each and every one of you my friend!

                                                                 XOXO,
                                                                  Lori

Friday, March 22, 2013








I thought I would kick off my first post with how I get through the weekends!  I know for a lot of people, including myself, the weekends are when we tend to overeat.  And it is also when it is easiest for me to say f*ck it to my workouts!  So here is what I do...I make my food SEEM like its bad for me and I get my workout in, first thing.  For example, I will make a huge breakfast for us, but I will make it under 300 calories.  Some of my favs are banana pancakes, simply made with one banana and some ground up oats.  I serve this with turkey sausage and sugar free syrup.  Another fav is whole wheat french toast with fresh fruit and grilled ham.  This fuels me up and FILLS me up, for my workout.




  My weekend workouts tend to be more cardio than weights.  I like to burn some extra calories, for the extra calories I might eat.  Like when we go to the movies and I refuse to get my hand out of the popcorn.  Or when I am unable to refuse a shit ton of chocolate covered raisins.  Yes, my friends, I do indulge!  I PROMISE!  That is how I keep my weight off.  I let myself have what I am craving.  I just make sure I have one serving.  This way I never feel like I am being deprived.  And I will be honest, I will throw in an extra workout, just so I can eat more or drink wine.  Yep, I can't forget my wine!  Hey, there are some benefits to wine drinking.  At least that is what I have read AND what Tony Horton says in my p90x2 handbook.  And come on, wine is the sweet nectar of the Gods..duh!

 

 

As far as lunch and dinner go, I try and make us foods that are normally considered bad for you, good for you.  Like if we are craving burgers (I don't eat red meat btw) I make us some juicy turkey burgers and baked fries.  SO GOOD!  And I will put the damn burger on a bun, I just take out some of the guts.  Nobody really needs all that bread. :) 




If we are feeling Mexican, I make either turkey tacos or fish tacos.  Both are SO yummy!  I get some lower carb whole wheat tortillas, and some arugula.  OMG it adds such god flavor.  I make homemade guac, avocado is a good fat, remember, and serve some baked tortilla chips.  Another trick I use when I am starting to get hungry an it's not quite time for a snack or a meal...is I brush my teeth, eat an Altoid or simply rinse with mouthwash.  This helps numb the old taste buds for me.  I also chug a BIG glass of water.  It fools the belly into thinking it is full.  Chewing gum helps too.

 

If I am dying for a sweat treat,  I make my go to ice cream sandwiches.  I take some low fat cool whip and add some PB2 to it, to flavor it up a bit.  Then I spread that on a chocolate graham cracker, drizzle some reduced sugar Hershey's syrup, top with another graham cracker and freeze.  Tastes SO good!  I also make no-bake cookies or banana oatmeal cookies.  Some ingredients as the pancakes, you just bake them at 350 for 15 minutes.  You can add some chopped walnuts, mini choc. chips or blueberries, for extra flavor.


 

DO what you have to, to make food fun and yummy.  Never let yourself feel deprived because you do NOT have to.  Ladies, I eat! I never go hungry and  eat what I want, when I want, just in moderation!

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!! 

xoxo,
Lori

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Guest post

Hey guys, I am over at Mama Laughlin today, doing a guest post.  It is about my "dirty little secret".  I didnt hold back so be prepared!

xoxo,
Lori

Wednesday, March 20, 2013




Hello lovelies!!  Well I was nominated for a Liebster Award by the amazing Jennifer. It is a fun little blogging chain letter of sorts that prompts a little Q&A between bloggers and a chance to share some of your favorite blogs.
HERE ARE THE RULES FOR RECEIVING THIS AWARD:
  1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
  2. Answer the questions that the tagger set for you plus create 11 questions for the people you’ve tagged to answer.
  3. Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
  4. Go to their page and tell them.
  5. No tag backs!









Here are the questions I was asked:

  1. Who is your embarrassing celeb crush? If you only love the pretty publicly acceptable celebs who is your crush in general? Kevin James, I LOVE funny men!
  2. Who is your favorite musician/artist/autotuned aficionado? Jared Leto from 30 Seconds to Mars.  Umm....have you seen this delicious creature?!?!?!
  3. What is your favorite book either of all time or book de jour? Any book written by Mary Higgins Clark
  4. What is the funniest memory you have? The time my sister and I were in NYC and she accidentally tooted and this caused me to pee my pants, I mean dress, from laughing so hard!!  I had to pee SO BAD and once I started to laugh, it started to flow! Thank GOD, we were right by the hotel. Oh Dear Lord, It was priceless!
  5. What is the most important trait in a significant other? Sense of humor (see above answer, I think farts are funny)!
  6. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Los Cabos, I am a beach girl!
  7. What did you want to be when you grew up? Dentist
  8. If you could meet one person living or dead, who would it be and why? My Grandpa Benny. This is my dad's dad, and he passed away before I was born. 
  9. What talent do you wish you possessed? I wish I could dance sober, not just when I am drunk!  
  10. What song would you blare at full volume and sing at the top of your lungs? Your Love, by The Outfield.
  11. If you could travel back in time, which decade would you visit and why? The 40's, I just love the fashion from that era.

    OK now on to the next part, 11 things about little ole me!
    1. I won the root beer chug and belching contest in High School, 4 years in a row.  Mind you, this was a Lutheran High School.  I got class, let me tell ya!
    2. I suffer from PTSD, I was living in NYC during 9/11 and witnessed the second plane hit.  I was also displaced from my apartment for 3 months. 
    3. Every 9/11 I wake up and sob, uncontrollably.  Just something I have to do.
    4.My nickname growing up was Dudie.  Uh yeah, nice right!
    5. I have a HUGE fear of earthworms. I mean HUGE!  I scream like a total girl and run, when my kids chase me with them.
    6. I used to be a nanny for a family on Park Avenue...it was ABSOLUTE HELL!
    7. My husband's nickname for me is Malibu, after Malibu Barbie. :-)
    8. I  have been to Disney World at least 50 times.
    9. I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread in the Gulf of Mexico.
    10. I am a DIE HARD Steelers fan.  I have been since the days of Terry Bradshaw
    11. Someday I want to write a book about my experiences of being a nanny.  Oh the stories I have to tell!

Now on to my 11 questions:

1.name of your first pet
2. Most disgusting habit
3. Dream Car
4. Favorite Vacation Spot
5. Store you cannot live without
6. How old were you when you got your first kiss
7. Favorite Reality TV Show
8. Restaurant you frequent the most
9. Thong or Panty?
10. When playing truth or dare, are you a dare taker or truth giver
11. Wildest place you ever "got busy"


My nominees are:
1.Laura
2. Mel
3. Ashley
4. Marcy
5. Kelli
6. Terri
7. Kadi
8.Sam
9. Jodi
10. Darci
11. Alicia











If I could go back....


So many people have asked me,  "do you ever wish you could go back and do it all over, skinny"? I have thought long and hard on this.  And you know, I would, but only for a day.  JUST to see how differently I might have been treated.  Growing up overweight was absolute hell.  I was made fun of daily.  Even by people I thought were my friends. This was hard to handle.

It destroyed my self-esteem.  After hearing how fat and ugly you are over and over again, you start to believe you deserve this.  You start to change the way you are around people.  I would put myself out there to be the funny one.  I would make fun of myself first, so others didn't have to.  I tried to dress really well, in hopes that people would focus on my clothes, not my fat. I think the worst thing I allowed my weight to do was, get involved with an abusive man.  Not only emotionally abusive, but physically abusive as well.  I allowed some man to tell me how fucking fat and ugly I was in one sentence, and then that he loved me, the next.  Yes, I truly believed that this disgusting human being loved me.  And you know what, I did the same with "friends".  I would sit back and let them make fun of me, because I "thought" they were my friends.  What you come to find out after growing up, is that if someone is your TRUE friend, they will love you at any size.  I am still amazed at how socially acceptable it still is, to make fun of someone for their weight  WTF?!?!?!  No other prejudice is acceptable.  People don't realize the damage being done, when they make fun of an overweight person.  Especially a child.  They have NO CLUE, what road that person has travelled.  How many diets they have tried, how many exercise programs they gave their all to.  It's just not right.
 


I had an old "friend" come up to me and say, 'Wow you look amazing, you used to be so fat".  REALLY????  Did you seriously just say that! People are just fucking clueless I guess!  When I see someone that has changed in appearance due to weight loss, I never say that! 

So this leads me to why I really wouldn't go back and change what I went through.  It made me who I am today.  It made me strong.  I am a true believer in "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".  Aint that the truth!  I honestly think God made me that way, for a reason.  Maybe so at the age of 41, I can help others who are struggling with their weight, get through it.  Maybe so I can raise children that have compassion for anyone that is struggling with weight.  The word fat is NOT allowed in my home and never will be.  I honestly think that if I had grown up "skinny" I would have most likely been a "hussy"...LOL!  WHY???  Because when I firts lost weight, I did NOT know how to handle the attention.  I went through a phase where I was wild!  Not something I am proud of, but it happened.  I call that phase my "bar whore days".  NO, I was NOT sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry but....I made some BAD choices.  Thank GOD, I was always responsible and safe about said choices.  I think that was a major learning phase for me.  IT showed me what I didn't want in a man.  I wanted people to truly like me for me.  No matter what I looked like on the outside.  I think everything we go through, happens for a reason.  I let my weight keep me from going away to college and becoming a dentist.  BUT...I have to think there is a reason for that.  In the end, I ended up where I was supposed to be.  I ended up marrying a man that loves me at any size and I got the best gift of all, my babies. :)
 


I won't lie, I do love running into people that were assholes to me.  I KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS!! I would really like to tell them all to fuck off, but that is not how I was raised.  I try and remember that we all have things we struggle with .  I realize that maybe that bully wasn't happy either, with how their life was going. 

One thing I truly do regret...not enjoying my life to the fullest, all those years.  I wish I would have done more, when I was bigger.  I remember being in Florida and passing up on parasailing because they needed to know my weight so they could radio the boat.  Ummm....thanks but not thanks! I loko back now and realize I shouldn't have cared.  It is not like I would ever see those people again!

 I want anyone that reads this and is battling their weight, to LIVE!  Enjoy every second of your life.  Enjoy the entire process.  Other than that, like I said, all the hell I went through, made me who I am today...so I wouldn't change a thing.  My husband always tells me, "honey it is a way bigger accomplishment to have your body at 41, than at 21".  I will take that!  :)